ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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