ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house.
Nothing will. Have the coffee.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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