ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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