ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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