ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year.
Nobody noticed you were gone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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