ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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