ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Too close to call” means nobody knows.
It is said by people paid a lot to know.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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