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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER 1969
Parenting is ten percent love
and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is. Then they leave and take both.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
  2. The documentary is unfiltered. It took seven people to remove the filter.
  3. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  4. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
  5. Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
  6. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
  7. Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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