ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You can't take money with you when you go.
Your direct debits, however, will give it a really good try.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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