ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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