ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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