ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Children are a blessing.
They're also why the remote is in the bin and your savings are in the past tense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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