ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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