ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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