ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call your mum "for advice".
You call her for the Netflix password.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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