ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You wasted yours too. Old age is next, and you've got form.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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