ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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