ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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