ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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