ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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