ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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