ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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