ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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