ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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