ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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