ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "taking a social media break".
You announced it on social media. Twice. With a carousel.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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