ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once.
They'll merge. You'll be the one let go.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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