ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 3 AUGUST 1981
No pain, no gain.
You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your file.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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