ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 16 MAY 1983
You're "taking a social media break".
You announced it on social media. Twice. With a carousel.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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