ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again."
That's also the plan for your job next quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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