ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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