ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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