ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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