ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 1 JANUARY 1984
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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