ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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