ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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