ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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