ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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