ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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