ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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