ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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