ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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