ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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