ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "circling back" since March.
At this point you're space debris.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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