ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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