ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 13 AUGUST 1989
You "love deeply".
Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do his writers.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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