ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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