ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline.
It has the growth rate of a fern in a windowless bathroom, and about the same future.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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