ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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