ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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